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The Art of Parenting

Discussion Questions

  1. The Goal of Parenting
  2. Forming Character
  3. Applying Discipline
  4. Building Relationships
  5. Understanding Identity
  6. Nurturing Identity
  7. Preparing for Mission
  8. The Power of Family

The Goal of Parenting

Discussion Questions

  1. What was your reaction to the news of your first pregnancy, adoption, or becoming a stepparent?
  2. What advice would you offer to first-time or expectant parents?
  3. Name some of the issues that confront many new parents. Did you face any of these issues? What did you do (or are you doing) to work through them?
  4. A lot of emphasis was given in the video to the importance of prioritizing marriage. Why is this so important to your parenting?
  5. If you had a parenting mentor, what question(s) would you ask him or her today?
  6. Name one attitude, habit, or characteristic that you hope your children will pick up from you and carry into their own adulthood. Conversely, name one attitude, habit, or characteristic that you hope your children will not pick up from you.

Forming Character

Discussion Questions

  1. When you think of disciplining your children, what concerns or cautions come to mind?
  2. Do you agree that acts of willful defiance should be handled differently than acts of childish behavior? Give an example of one or the other and how you would respond to that behavior.
  3. Dr. Meg Meeker said that many parents bail on discipline because they don't like conflict. What are some other reasons for parents giving up on discipline?
  4. The counterpart of disciplining for bad behavior is rewarding good behavior. If you use rewards with your children, describe an instance where you have done so effectively.
  5. Have you and your spouse ever discussed what kinds of misbehavior you would discipline for and what the discipline would be? If you have, share at least one out come from that discussion.
  6. If you have more than one child, describe the differences and similarities In how you train each one.
  7. Spanking is not advised in every parenting situation (e.g., foster or stepparenting). Why do you think that is? What cautions should parents consider?
  8. Almost all parents have had a misadventure or two when it comes to discipline. What is the funniest thing that has happened when you were trying to correct your child? Or do you have a humorous discipline-related memory from your own childhood to share?

Applying Discipline

Discussion Questions

  1. Elyse Fitzpatrick emphasized that while we instruct our children's behavior, we shouldn't tie our acceptance of them or love for them to only their behavior. Why is it so important to keep this in mind? What might this kind of conditional acceptance teach our children about God?
  2. A lot was said about behavior modification vs. heart transformation. What ideas or suggestions do you have for targeting the heart of your children rather than just correcting their outward behavior?
  3. Ron Deal acknowledged what many parents have thought: God sometimes uses our children to help us grow up. In what ways has being a parent helped you grow?
  4. Take a few minutes to "brag" about your children. What have you seen them doing right lately?
  5. If spanking is an acceptable method of discipline in your home, do you agree that there are circumstances where it should not be used? What would some of those circumstances be? What other boundaries should be observed when spanking?
  6. Parents need many tools in their discipline toolbox. List the "tools" you find yourself drawn to most and explain why.
  7. Dennis Rainey mentioned the idea of praying that you "catch" your children disobeying. What do you think of this idea?
  8. Several people talked about the importance of restoring the relationship with your children following discipline (hugging them, reiterating your love, praying with them, etc.). What do you typically do with your children after you've had to discipline them? What does this "follow-through" add to the effectiveness of your discipline?

Building Relationships

Discussion Questions

  1. What are some of your best strategies for dealing with sibling conflict, or helpful strategies you've seen other parents use?
  2. What are you teaching your children about forgiveness-specifically how to ask for It, when to ask for it, and how to give it?
  3. In the session you were advised not to be "friends" with your children. But some parents, such as newly adoptive parents, foster parents, and stepparents, should be "friendly" In the beginning. What's the difference between being "friends" with your children and being "friendly" to new children in your life?
  4. Kevin DeYoung talked about the need for helping our children develop "relational skills." What relational skills do you want your children to learn?
  5. Several times, the importance of knowing what "fills your child's tank" was mentioned. Discuss what fills the tank of each of your children and how you can use that to deepen your relationship with them.
  6. Phil Vischer said that our goal is not to have happy children but healthy ones. What do you think he means by "healthy" children?
  7. What does your family do to have fun together?

Understanding Identity

Discussion Questions

  1. If you have siblings, describe some of the differences and similarities between you.
  2. Delighting in a child's gifts and talents encourages the child. How have you affirmed these things in your child or stepchild?
  3. In what ways are each of your children like you? In what ways are each of your children not like you?
  4. Dennis Rainey emphasized that a child's relationship with God is key to their identity. Do you agree or disagree with this? Explain why you agree or disagree.
  5. Which uniquenesses of your children are the hardest for you to accept? Why?
  6. Dave and Ann Wilson talked about the importance of "speaking life" to their children, even when they had failed. What advice do you have for the best way to go about reaffirming a child who is struggling or who has done wrong?
  7. Harold Davis said that because each of his children are unique, he is never bored. Can you relate to this? What does the uniqueness of each child contribute to the life and fun in your family circle?

Nurturing Identity

Discussion Questions

  1. What do you want your children to understand about gender differences? What do you want them to believe about their own gender identity?
  2. In addition to parents, who else might influence our children's beliefs about gender identity?
  3. As a parent, what can you do to affirm your sons' masculinity and your daughters· femininity?
  4. The Kimmels said that some parents get upset when they hear teaching about children being "sinful.'' How do you respond to this teaching?
  5. As a way of helping their children see that the word of God relates to them personally, the Riveras give their children a Bible passage to memorize each year on their birthday. What other ideas do you have for helping your children connect with the Scriptures?
  6. In discussing spiritual Interaction with his children who are now older and out of the home, Ron Deal said, "I'm just trying to keep the Lord In front of them." What ideas do you have for effectively keeping the Lord "In front of" your older children?
  7. Have you made any attempts at family devotions? How has it gone? What advice do you have for other parents?
    8. Blended Family Bonus
  8. Have a family devotional looking at one of the many blended families of the Bible, such as Jesus and His stepfather Joseph (read Matthew 1:18-25 and Luke 2:41-52). Talk about the power of choosing to love someone who is not your biological parent or child.
    9.  

Preparing for Mission

Discussion Questions

  1. Describe your hopes and dreams for your children's futures.
  2. What fears or concerns do you have regarding your children's futures?
  3. Phil Vlscher emphasized the importance of letting children experience the consequences of their foolish choices. In what areas of life are you willing to give your children room to fall-for their ultimate good?
  4. What do you think it means to "gradually" release your children? Why is this Important?
  5. What Will you do if your child's desires for the future conflict with yours?
  6. Reflecting on your own life, how were you launched into the life you have now? In other words, what and who were in the "river of influence" that God used to bring you to where and who you are?
  7. What prayer points would you share with other parents who are praying for a child who has strayed from God and their family?

Preparing for Mission

Discussion Questions

  1. What comes to mind when you hear the word legacy?
  2. Describe the kind of legacy you want to leave for your children.
  3. Do you have any memories of your grandparents? What are some of the life lessons you learned from them?
  4. If you were asked to list the key elements of an emotionally and spiritually healthy family, what would you put on the list?
  5. Bryan Loritts and others mentioned specific scriptures s that they pray for their children. Do you have any passages that you pray for your children? Share them with the group.
  6. What role do you want your extended family to play in your children's lives?